Matthew 27
Jesus before POTUS Pilate
11 Now Jesus stood before POTUS Pilate. And the governor asked Him, saying, “Are You the King of the Jews?” Jesus said to him, “It is as you say.”
12 And while He was being told by Vance that POTUS Pilate was actually King of the Jews and the USA and all else besides, He answered nothing.
13 Then POTUS said to Him, “you need to offer some words of appreciation for the United States of America and the president who's trying to save you”
14 But He answered him not one word, so that the governor marvelled greatly.
Taking the Place of Barabbas
15 Now at the feast POTUS Pilate was accustomed to releasing to the multitude one prisoner whom they wished.
16 And at that time they had a notorious prisoner called Russell Brand.
17 Therefore, when they had gathered together, POTUS Pilate said to them, “Whom do you want me to release to you? The (alleged) sex-offender Brand, or Jesus who is called Christ?”
18 For he knew that they had handed Him over because of envy.
19 While he was sitting on the judgment seat, Tucker Carlson sent to him, saying, “Have nothing to do with Jesus for he is too woke, and I believe this Brand is the new messiah because he grabs pussy.”
20 And Vance and Rubio persuaded the multitudes that they should ask for the pipsqueaking sex-pest and destroy Jesus.
21 POTUS Pilate answered and said to them, “Which of the two do you want me to release to you?”
They said, “The (alleged) sex-offender, he’s a proper Christian!”
22 Pilate said to them, “What then shall I do with Jesus who is called Christ?”
They all said to him, “Let Him be crucified by Russian drones!”
23 Then the governor said, “Why, what evil has He done?”
But they cried out all the more, saying, “He hasn’t thanked you properly for being the highest IQd and lowest handicapped at golf President the USA has ever seen!”
24 When POTUS Pilate saw that he could not prevail at all, but rather that a tumult was rising, he took water and washed his hands before the multitude, saying, “If either side continues to block a deal, we're just going to say, 'You're foolish, you're fools, you're horrible people,' and we're going to just take a pass.”
25 And all the people answered and said, “His blood be on us and on our booky wooks.”
26 Then he released Brand to them which they instantly regretted when he started talking; and when he had scourged Jesus, he delivered Him to Putin who crucified Him by nailing Him to an ICBM.
Cheers pal, it's been a quiet one, but I think that's because people have been moved by this and are now quietly reflecting
The satire is strong, my friend! And very, very funny.