The PNG Courier on Grimes, Starmer and the Trumpanzees

"Earlier generations would have hesitated to hire Durham’s dummkopf as a scarecrow"

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For all those who still say that capitalism isn’t a failed experiment, we return to England, where Darren Grimes has just become an elected representative.

Earlier generations would have hesitated to hire Durham’s dummkopf as a scarecrow. In today’s era of crocheted Spitfire post-boxes, they elevate him to public office.

The political system here is busted. Although Keir Starmer was elected with a mandate of not being the Tories, and in spite of a colossal majority, his Labour government is biddable, arbitrary, mean-spirited, and in thrall to a deranged media.

Tony Benn divided politicians into Signposts and Weathercocks. Signposts point. Weathercocks are blown. No, not like that. By polls, focus groups, and spin doctors. Ok, fine, like that.

‘Grow up’, savvy pragmatists might say, doubtless in the same world-weary way they used to correct anyone unworldly enough to have studied Sir Keir’s formbook (‘He’ll enact progressive reforms once he’s in office.’)

For the Tim Henman of politics – willed to succeed, doomed to fail – it’s a notion at odds with his habit of looking wise while avoiding saying anything solid or original.

So far, despite its power, Sir Keir’s government has presented no plans to address corporate plundering, broken utilities, spiralling wealth inequality, or the wackily sidelined issue of a planet soon to be unfit to occupy. Populist hate-mongers meanwhile thrive, claiming without contradiction that immigration is the cause of every problem.

Labour has yet to grasp that an attempt to salvage the best of the welfare state with ‘efficiency’, partial privatisation and market solutions does not amount to ‘vision’. Starmer & Co cannot even bring themselves to acknowledge the shared humanity of refugees, instead opting to ape the shit-flinging Trumpanzees.

A strategy endorsing Reform while saying ‘vote Labour’ has thus unfolded.

That strategy has validated Reform’s racism while alienating Labour’s own base.

And that is why the people of County Durham are now represented by someone thicker than a Boxing Day turd.

Further, if anyone’s interested, this the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a whimper.