The PNG Courier reports from Iran

Trump's bunker buster is a 'Hole-in-One' for World War Three!

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From Our Own Correspondent

Back to the Middle East, where a rogue nuclear state has teamed up with another rogue nuclear state, to stop a third rogue state from becoming nuclear.

In the early hours of 22 June, GBU-57 Massive Ordnance Penetrators rained on Natanz and Fordow like confetti at a Kid Rock show, each explosion a testament to the MAGA maxim: “If it’s complicated, blow it up.”

“It is vital that a despot in charge of a theocratic government with no legal accountability who supresses public protest, obliterates women’s rights and pulls people off the streets at random, shouldn’t have a nuclear weapon” tweeted Supreme Leader Khamenei. Donald Trump, the man who once suggested nuking a hurricane to stop it from hitting Florida has decided that Iran’s nuclear ambitions are the real threat to global stability. Never mind that he tore up the negotiated plan to keep Iran’s centrifuges in check until 2018, as if it was no more than an Epstein trial subpoena.

Is this the masterstroke of a stable genius, a 4D Ludo move to secure world peace by turning Iran’s nuclear ambitions into a smouldering crater? Who better to prevent a theocratic dictator from wielding unchecked power than a man who suggested he could pardon himself for any crime?

Certainly, the dealmaker-in- chief is giving a star-spangled smokescreen to the sickening atrocities being committed by Israel in Gaza. And with the 2026 midterms looming, what better way to rally the base than an old-fashioned bombing campaign? Nothing says “strong leader” more clearly than grainy drone strike footage set to Lee Greenwood’s Proud to be an American. The faithful are already chanting “Four More Wars!”

Even so, wider reactions have been mixed. The woke whinged about civilian deaths, as if Iranians don’t deserve a taste of freedom delivered at 2,000 pounds per square inch. France called the strikes “regrettable”. Germany talked about “escalation risks”, and the UK muttered something confused about “chlorinated chicken being ready inside 45 minutes.” Russia, meanwhile, offered to sell Iran some shiny new S-400 missile systems at a friends and family discount, just enter the code “DrStrangelove” at the checkout.

With Iranian uranium now as depleted as Trump’s vocabulary, we ask: is this the dawn of a new era of peace, just another episode in the Trump Show, or, for all the dismissive talk of religion, is it worth remembering that in Abrahamic tradition, the Levant is where the world ends?